Navigating Being The “Only One” In The Workplace.
An account of what it is like to be in an underrepresented group in the workplace and ways to navigate everyday challenges.
As I sit in the co-working space of my complex, I reflect on a question my peer in McKinsey’s Black Management Accelerator Program asked me a few weeks ago. He said, “Are you doing anything for the 4th of July?” I reflected on my weekend plans and responded, “Honestly, I have not celebrated 4th of July since I started celebrating Juneteenth in 2020.” At the height of the pandemic, I was forced to reflect on what identity and authenticity meant to me. Who did I want to be? How did I want to show up? Scratch that — NEED to show up? Not only in my every-day-life, but at work as well.
Now, a few pivotal things happened between March and December 2020:
- I left my all-female team and role without another one lined up.
- I pivoted career paths and industries in 4 months.
- I started on another all-female team the Monday after George Floyd’s death.
- I transitioned out of entrepreneurship where everyone I worked with was black.
- I accepted a Program Management role on an all-male team (a first time for me).
The constant in all of these transitions was the need to process how I felt about being the “only one” in these spaces — the only woman and almost always the only black person.
In March 2022, I was asked to share my experience being a black woman in the workplace with a leading organization. On July 24th, I am sharing an excerpt from that panel discussion with you.
[Interviewer]: At the start of your professional journey, did you ever get any career advice specific to being a black woman in the workplace or being an ally to underrepresented groups? Was there a moment in your work experience when this came to the surface in a significant way?
[Ja’Mara]
I never received specific advice as a black woman in the workplace. However, there was a moment when being black in Corporate America showed up in a significant way. When I was at staffing agency my manager hired a black woman — the first black woman I worked with in 3 years and the only “other one” at our 200+ company. A few months later my manager rallied to have leadership pay for our organization’s Project Management Professional (PMP) certifications. Up until that point it was a thought that crossed my mind for 2 years, but I never acted on it until that same black woman told me about her experience (a single mother looking to create a sustainable life for her son), exactly HOW it opened up unimaginable opportunities for her and WHAT hurdles she faced. The certification was the endorsement for her experience and capability when she didn’t have a big company name or ivy league education to endorse her. I related to that. It also made the goal more tangible — when she described what it took, I trusted her timelines and challenges as a black woman. So, I quit my job, dedicated the next 3 months to achieving this milestone and it opened new opportunities for me — just as she stated.
[Interviewer]: What’s been your experience navigating remote workplaces, specifically as a black woman?
[Ja’Mara]
I have been a remote worker for the past 4–5 years, so pre-pandemic. The initial challenge I faced when I transitioned was understanding the difference between perception and reality. In my first End-Of-Year review, my manager told me she was “unsure if I wanted be in the role or liked the role” — after working with her for 4 months. I perceived she could see my dedication and effort (just like my onsite manager did), when in reality she only knew what I told her. This led me to do three things:
1. Create a “Working With Me” doc. This document, which I learned about from Jerry Lee, shared my communication style and working preferences with my manager and direct team. This helped open up a conversation about cultural and working style differences. It also increased our transparency and vulnerability — which ultimately led to trust.
2. Overcommunicate. This looked like cc’ing my manager on important decisions and status reports. This also meant creating a personal Work Breakdown Structure that showed all the things I was working on. (Pro Tip: In seasons of burnout, this prioritization method will help align your expectations to your managers and save you from working on things that management does not care about or wants someone else to take over.)
3. Be Visible and Accessible. A lot of my roles required interacting with cross-functional teams and management. In one role I received a comment from the Director that it was important for me — a black woman — to show up. This meant turning my camera on so my team can actualize and be in relation with someone who may not look like them. (Now, as women we know how much effort it is to get ready for a camera day — especially when we are juggling a million different things — but when your presence is a rarity and impactful, you take the opportunity to build community and dismantle misconceptions.)
[Interviewer]: Can black women show up as their authentic selves at work? When do you feel most comfortable in the workplace?
[Ja’Mara]
I don’t believe black women can show up as their authentic selves until their workplace reflects their authentic selves. Companies try to increase diversity numbers and assume that there is community and a safe place for black women to “show up” and that is not true. In many organizations the only other time we see other black women is if we dedicate our post-work hours to an ERG or set up a 1:1 with the ONE black woman that we saw in passing or on a company newsletter. Even then, visibility of another black woman does not translate to comfortability or community, only direct relationships can do that. Only creating teams that reflect our natural environment outside of the workplace can do that.
I recently only realized this as I started working with and creating teams that reflected my culture and experience. While I feel comfortable sharing how I’m a multi-faceted being with my co-workers, I found there was a different level of comfort when I could say a term, phrase or express a concern and not have to explain what it meant or put it into context. It was a different level of freedom, empowerment, and, honestly, JOY to speak in my native tongue without fear of judgement or correction.
[Interviewer]: What strategies have you used to advocate for more diversity on your team, especially after joining as a remote employee?
[Ja’Mara]
I’m grateful that I haven’t had to advocate for diversity in my recent roles, but this is due to the work I did in the interview process to ensure I was in safe spaces. I have 2 strategies that have paid off for me ten-fold when “advocating” for diversity in the workplace.
1. Be honest. When I joined my first big tech company, my director had a presentation about his mission to create diverse teams. However, on a call of 30 of his direct reports — none of them were black or brown. In our next 1:1 I asked how his mission statement was reflected in his team? What conscious actions was he taking to diversify his teams? This led to him valuing my opinion, advocating for my success in critical stages of our project, and becoming a long-time mentor and friend.
2. Identify where you are celebrated. I say yes to people and opportunities who have shared values. When I interviewed at Intel, the main question I asked my interviewers was “how many women do you have on your direct team?” This gave me insight on 3 things:
- I would be comfortable moving into a male -dominated team, especially since I have pre-dominantly worked on female-dominated teams.
- My efforts to increase racial and gender diversity would not only be supported, but encouraged.
- My team knew what was important to me: Diversity; and I could assess what was important to them without me having to “build a case” or be an “advocate.” (Because in reality, I don’t want to try to explain why I, or anyone who looks like me, should be on the team as well)
In all honesty, it can be really hard and emotionally exhausting being the “only one” or the minority in the workplace. Too often, we don’t have a safe space (even though big companies create ERGs — which can feel more like a means to justify diversity metrics than a community) or, quite frankly, the energy to talk about all of our challenges and potential solutions. We go through the experience, internalize it as “common” or “part of the territory” and spend a crazy amount of time trying to make-sense-of-it-all with our friends and family. Lets stop that.
I’m here to tell you that you’re not the “only one.” You’re THE one.
Let me repeat that for everybody in the back…
“Everybody else is 2’s and 3’s. You’re the ONE!” — Kurupt
You’re seen. You’re heard. You’re understood. Even when it may not feel like it, you have a whole group of people rooting for you. (It’s me. I’m the group.)
So, keep being creative, outgoing (or reserved because that is okay too), funny, and “different” — they see you. I see you.
