Allyship: 4 Ways to Show Up and Stand Out
If you are looking to be a mentor or sponsor, here are 4 ways to support underrepresented groups in the workplace and beyond.
During the pandemic, I learned the importance of networking. More specifically, I learned the importance of building a community of mentors and sponsors. Though the terms are commonly used interchangeably, they are different.
A mentor is someone who shares their experience with someone seeking advice. This is usually a one-directional or transactional relationship. It is someone who may have expertise in a field or industry that you are trying to break into. It is someone who has a skill that you’re learning and need tips on navigating your challenges.
A sponsor (truly the G.O.A.T. — Greatest of All Time) is someone who advocates for you in rooms that you are not — yet — in. It is someone who you have built a bi-directional relationship with. It is someone who is no longer cosigning your skills and expertise, but he/she is actively referring you for new opportunities — and vice versa.
An ally is someone who supports someone, in a mentor or sponsorship capacity, from an underrepresented group.
I have always been hesitant to admit, the need for an ally. To me, it felt like saying my experience and value was only good enough if someone from the majority group cosigned it. (Insert a visual of me cringing) What I learned over time was that it had less to do with my value and more to do with my visibility. The access and privilege that I wanted at work, would not occur as a new employee or as someone who wasn’t in community with management. The access to management and privilege to make strategic decisions came when I added sponsors to my network.
Ally has been used as a buzzword lately to signify support in diverse communities, but it takes conscious and active effort to be an ally. Here are four ways that you can support your colleagues and friends from underrepresented groups:
Be an intentional sponsor.
There are a lot of mentors, people who share their real-life experiences to help others solve personal and professional roadblocks. However, there are not a lot of sponsors in the workplace. A sponsor is someone who advocates for a teammate when they are not in the room. This looks like suggesting for them to lead the leadership-visible and career-impacting projects. This also looks like praising them to leadership when they have made an impact on your project, product or process. (Yes, your read that correctly. Go beyond the 5 second shout out on your team call or the CC: in the meeting notes to talk about their contributions.)
Don’t just talk about it. Be about it.
Be an active listener.
Trust is built through listening vs advising. When trying to figure out how to best support a direct report, teammate or co-worker, remember that sometimes the best response is no response. Quite often, our experiences are met with quick fixes (“I had a similar problem as you so you should do x.”), microaggressions (“When I look at you I don’t see color.”), or invalidation/gaslighting (“I think you are assessing the situation wrong. That is not what they meant.”). The people I go back to time and time again are not the ones with the “best solutions”, they are the ones that listen to me. They create space for me to be heard. Through active listening, they might have a solution, but its not always the end result. Knowing I have a safe space, gives me the go ahead to keep them in my network and build a mutually-beneficial relationship.
Hearing someone is seeing him/her/them.
Be aware.
Everyone comes with their own set of bias and prejudices that are learned through geographical and cultural norms. Most are unaware that their comments can be harmful or put others in uncomfortable and unsafe spaces. Microaggressions are indirect, subtle, and most times unintentional. They are also very real and very common. Awareness aides our responses and thus the communities we are able to build. By accepting my experiences as individualistic versus the norm, I open up space for someone else to alter my human experience. I open up myself to learn and understand a new reality that is usually very different from my own. Awareness stirs up curiosity and dialogue, which in safe environments, can lead to trust and community.
Multiple things can be true at the same time. Acknowledge someone else’s truth.
Be a friend.
This is critical. Many times, those from underrepresented communities are asked to be the spokesperson for their entire race or gender. This is not only unfair, but it pushes biases and prejudices. They can’t speak for all women or everyone of Latin descent, just like you can’t be a spokesperson for your gender and/or race. However, we can offer our personal experience and be in community with you. We can share our cultural preferences if we choose to. If a safe space is built, like any friendship, personal information will flow.
People will never forget how you made them feel.
You may have clicked this link to see how you can gain a mentor or sponsor (I got you sis), or you may be a leader in your workplace and you’re trying to see how you can move from talking about diversity to exemplifying a diverse culture (I applaud you friend).
Whatever your reason, I want you to know that you can be an ally, mentor or sponsor if you are:
- actively building community
- listening to understand verse respond
- taking genuine interest in others
Being an ally is not just a corporate agenda, it’s a way of living and we are grateful for those who go against the grain by showing up and standing out.
“You see the old way wasn’t working so it’s on us to do what we gotta do to survive” — 2Pac
